Happy Mothers Day!

I love my girls. However, if you saw us this weekend with one of them you may have questioned that. I may have questioned it myself. I consider myself pretty laid back, and when she colored on the walls we had a Mother/Daughter discussion how that is not allowed. When she hid her "jelly butter" sandwich under the couch, I calmly told her we throw it away in the trash. When she started throwing rocks at the neighbors dog, I took her inside for a time out and a lecture on "treating animals with kindness". When she got the jar of pickles out and hid the remains in the bathroom I was a little hot around the collar and made her clean the mess. HOWEVER when she snuck the mayonnaise downstairs and dropped it (ALL OVER) I FREAKED OUT!!! I'm afraid I got a little too loud, and a little too mean. I was so angry with her and cleaning mess after mess after mess.

Then I was so lucky to go to church on Sunday where they praised all the Mother's, and all I could do was cry because just yesterday I wanted to rip my little Emily's arms off and beat her with them!! And then we were able to listen to 3 Mother's give their perfect Mother's Day talks and I thought how rotten I was. But after I did a silent plea for forgiveness, I started thinking how much I love to be a mom.

I love it when Jac comes running in from school "Mom, I am home from Kindergarten now", when Emily decided to be a big girl and poured herself a glass of "Jay's (soy) milk" and tells me with a sour face "I no like milk, it's disusing"! Or the night we bathed them and I was helping Jacquie with her panties and Emily looks over and tells Jac "Jacquie, your panties are beautiful" (and of course Jacquie poses for her). And then my thoughts drift to a little girl who never opened her eyes, who I only carried for 23 weeks and was born silent, yet she was perfect and lovely. A little girl I now see only behind closed eyes and who reminds me of carnations. Who comforts me in times of trials and distress, who fights in our corner and who watches over her big sisters, and her mom and dad.

I am so grateful to be a mom, and so blessed to be the mom of an angel. My life is full of blessings and I love them all so much and in their own unique way. And I decided the next time Emily tries to flush a potato down the toilet, that I will smile and talk softly to her because I know that this will only be for a short while.